How does counseling affect marriage?

 How does counseling affect marriage?

This week, we had a wonderful discussion on counseling and how it changes the dynamics of a relationship. I thought it would be a good topic since, at some point in our lives, we have all needed counseling, and some of us may have even provided counsel to people we know. I have received counsel on many occasions, with the most being during my voluntary mission for the LDS church. This experience taught me valuable lessons in communication, self-reflection, goals and values, and purpose. I hope to share these lessons with you, along with other learning opportunities.

Counseling is a great way to initiate the process of resolving conflicts or reconnecting with "your why's." However, this greatly depends on who you seek counsel from. For married couples, it is beneficial to counsel with each other or involve a third party if necessary. Do you think it is a good idea to discuss your spouse without them being present during counseling? If so, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section.

Personally, I don't believe that discussing your spouse with others solves any issues. In fact, I think it escalates the situation to another level. For instance, imagine there is a problem between you and your friend. How do you try to find common ground? Do you talk to your loved ones about it? If so, why? Why not talk to your friend directly about the issue? Usually, people tend to seek a comfort zone whenever they feel uncomfortable, often by talking to others who sympathize with them about friend or family issues. If only they realized the damage they are doing to their relationship, they would avoid such actions.

In life, there will be conflicts and miscommunications, but how we resolve them is entirely up to us. Counseling is a great way to seek advice, receive feedback, and gain perspectives from different angles. When resolving issues, it is better to counsel with the person you have an issue with rather than discussing them with someone else. I believe that talking with someone else escalates the situation because instead of building trust with your partner, one might engage in gossip and keep secrets from the other. I also reflect on how the first couple, Adam and Eve, about how they resolved issues. They likely counseled with each other and the Lord since they were alone. Counseling primarily benefits a marriage by improving communication. Couples often struggle to express their needs, feelings, and concerns to one another, leading to misunderstandings and arguments. Through counseling, couples can learn and practice healthy communication skills by actively listening and expressing themselves.

Couples who receive counseling have the opportunity to reflect on their actions and grow as individuals. Through individual counseling or shared activities, couples can gain a better understanding of their own patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that may be contributing to relationship problems. This self-awareness empowers them to make meaningful changes. Personally, I believe this is the most valuable aspect of counseling. It allows you to examine your own life, goals, and values and ensure you are on the right track to achieve them. Couples can also use counseling as a safe environment to examine their feelings and work on mending old wounds, which strengthens relationship.

In conclusion, counseling can have a transformative impact on a marriage by establishing shared goals and values, improving communication, addressing difficult subjects, and fostering self-reflection and personal growth. By incorporating the advice and experience of a counselor, couples can overcome obstacles and build a deeper, more fulfilling relationship. If you agree, please share your views. If you disagree, please share your perspective. See you next week.