Family Theories

During our discussions this week, we dived into several theories that are frequently applied to family dynamics. A theory refers to a phenomenon that can be tested and measured. Among the commonly recognized theories are System Theory, Exchange Theory, Symbolic Interaction Theory, and Conflict Theory.

System Theories: A variety of theories fall under this category. There is a system that already takes place with out you realizing it sometimes. For instance, the seat you choose to take at a dinner table, the way you converse with others, the way we do things. All these example fall under a general heading of the system theory.

Exchange theory: this is one theory you probably have seen growing up. “You owe me one” or “Whats in it for me” are some popular expression of exchange theory. Most times we don’t get what we want and this is where we try to give something in exchange for what we desire. I remember when I was in middle school and had a task to do at home I try to make an exchange. Whether it be to go outside and play afterwards or get something else in return I would try to get something going.

Conflict theory: When personal desires are not being met we usually take this to another level. Or it could be that your opinions are not being accepted we have a conflict. At times it might be a conflict of interest. These conflicts often arise from either social inequality or because of differing interpretations of morality by different individuals. For instance, you might recall from your childhood being given chores. Mom wants you to do the chores while you might not even care to much about it. This is where conflicts arise.

Symbolic interaction theory: this can be seen in children. Sometimes we become what we see and are used to. Especially when crap hits the fan or difficult situation. We tend to fold or come back to what we are familiar with. For example, whenever I am not around family I usually act like my father. In the moment, I might have not realize I am acting, but after the moment has passed I remember I reacted like my father. What about you? Has there been a moment you have acted like someone without you realizing? What did you think about it? Scripture wise, we see the Lord being loving, kind, patient, forgiving, virtuous, and faithful. These were characteristics of the Lord, but how did he get these characters? In my opinion, he probably got them from his father. There is a quote that says, “If you want to look to the father, Look at the son.” This all depends of the relationship between the two people. The stronger the relationship, the more likely you will act like the individual.

These theories can teach us to be more conscious with our actions and behaviors. It also teaches us what is healthy relationship and what is not healthy. By learning more about them we can strengthen the relationship between and within our families. An article called “Marriage and family in America”, provides a prime example of how learning about family relations and concepts can change one’s perspective. The article feature a story of a young lady that divorced her husband, but later after learning about family relations and the concepts within the family she realizes that she could have made her marriage work. Reading her story made me think of how as a society we could apply these theories and use them to improve relationships.

 In short, each of these theories offers a unique perspective on the dynamics that occur within families. By understanding these theories and how they relate to our own experiences, we can gain valuable insights into our relationships and improve our communication and interactions with our loved ones.